I have always wanted to be like the women who are strong, independent, have achieved their dreams, and are still homemakers. It hasn't been until recently that I have understood the life of other women. God has been breaking me in certain areas and this area of homemaking is definitely one of them. I have always had goals, expectations of myself and others, and have always had plan after plan after plan. When I got married I didn't know all that I had dreamed of would drastically change. I knew that things would shift but not fall off the radar for a while.
Their are many women I know that stay home and take care of their families. It didn't cross my mind until recently that may not have been their choice. Now...I'm not saying homemaking is a burden I just never realized that those women might not have chosen that for themselves. I'm learning that right now my dreams need to be put on hold and I need to be a homemaker for my husband. He still has at least two years to go in school and just had surgery on his leg. My heart has been in turmoil because all that is at the forefront of my mind...is my dreams. God is breaking me from strong, independent women to strong, homemaker that works to pay bills.
This is BY FAR not an easy transition and I've been married over a year and I'm just now realizing it. I have a friend who told me that I would understand when the time is right and she's right. I now understand why we had such issues with her lifestyle and mine. I still thinking having a weekly 'me or my girls' time is definitely necessary, but I do see where my sweet friend was coming from.
Being a wife is such a hard 'job' to have, and at the same time it's so wonderful. I know God is molding me so that I will be the wife he wants...even if my life is full of disappointments and sacrifices I don't want to make. I have always admired all my women friends and I now I understand BOTH and not just one.
To all my women friends - you will never know the impact you have on my life just by being you. I learn so much from you each time we talk; that's why I'm always wanting to get together. I admire you in more ways than i can explain. To the homemaker, the moneymaker, and all us one's in between - I love you with all my heart. Not just because you love me, but because you grow with me in life and help the LORD shape me into who I'm suppose to be for him. God bless each one of you!!!!
