Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Women I Know

I have always wanted to be like the women who are strong, independent, have achieved their dreams, and are still homemakers. It hasn't been until recently that I have understood the life of other women. God has been breaking me in certain areas and this area of homemaking is definitely one of them. I have always had goals, expectations of myself and others, and have always had plan after plan after plan. When I got married I didn't know all that I had dreamed of would drastically change. I knew that things would shift but not fall off the radar for a while.

Their are many women I know that stay home and take care of their families. It didn't cross my mind until recently that may not have been their choice. Now...I'm not saying homemaking is a burden I just never realized that those women might not have chosen that for themselves. I'm learning that right now my dreams need to be put on hold and I need to be a homemaker for my husband. He still has at least two years to go in school and just had surgery on his leg. My heart has been in turmoil because all that is at the forefront of my my dreams. God is breaking me from strong, independent women to strong, homemaker that works to pay bills.

This is BY FAR not an easy transition and I've been married over a year and I'm just now realizing it. I have a friend who told me that I would understand when the time is right and she's right. I now understand why we had such issues with her lifestyle and mine. I still thinking having a weekly 'me or my girls' time is definitely necessary, but I do see where my sweet friend was coming from.

Being a wife is such a hard 'job' to have, and at the same time it's so wonderful. I know God is molding me so that I will be the wife he wants...even if my life is full of disappointments and sacrifices I don't want to make. I have always admired all my women friends and I now I understand BOTH and not just one.

To all my women friends - you will never know the impact you have on my life just by being you. I learn so much from you each time we talk; that's why I'm always wanting to get together. I admire you in more ways than i can explain. To the homemaker, the moneymaker, and all us one's in between - I love you with all my heart. Not just because you love me, but because you grow with me in life and help the LORD shape me into who I'm suppose to be for him. God bless each one of you!!!!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

A REAL glimpse into our 1st year of Marriage

My husband and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on Oct. 5th, 2012. We celebrated with dinner at Saltgrass and the exchanging of gifts Friday night, and Saturday we went to the State Fair of Texas with some of our best friends Ted and Pyper. We EVENTUALLY will go on a hot air balloon ride, but the weather has to be beyond perfect to fly.

Many people ask 'how's your marriage going?' And most couples say 'Oh it just perfect and we love each other soooo much!' Okay...let me start by saying that I love my husband very much but it is faaaaar from perfect. When people ask me how our marriage is going I tell them the truth. We have fought, argued, not spoken to each other, had doubts, and thought we couldn't make it; all in the first year. He is in school, works full time, has guy time, and time with me. I want to go back to school, feel like I'm constantly working overtime, and have girl time and time with him. We are paying alllll kinds of bills, paying his school out of pocket, and trying to go to on a vacation in December. (Can you say stress!!!) Not to mention we STILL have not had a honeymoon. Most couples at least get the honeymoon phase of everything is perfect. I had previously lost my job and just received an offer that would start the Monday after our wedding. So...our honeymoon consisted of coming back to a new job and moving his stuff into my apartment.

There are a lot of issues I have with married couples who still mooch off their parents but I will skip that as to not offend anyone. My husband and I work very hard to provide for ourselves and our future family and still have fun. I am a BIG budgetter and I try to budget so that if a friend is in need we can help out. My parents paid for me for 21 years and are still helping in part with college. I couldn't ask them for more even though I know they would give it. Now I'm not saying that you're parents helping you out, or anyone for that matter, is wrong; when you rely on them for everything and you have not established independence for your own family...presents a problem. (Guess I mentioned one opps!)

I wouldn't trade our 1st year of troubles for anything. If you don't 'work' things out than you just hide them and either live miserably in a marriage or get divorced. I love the couple friends that I have because we are not afraid to be real with each other. You always can love your spouse but you don't always like them necessarily. I have learned so much about my husband in our first year and most of that was through our disagreements. I often relate our relationship to that of Allie and Noah in in the movie "The Notebook." They have so much love and passion for each other and it shows...

I love that my husband an I have the time to learn more about each other before we have children. Although we both get baby fever, we are not ready for that adventure just yet. That is why we have our sweet baby Buster to take care of. :) Plus...I have GOT to learn Spanish before we have children. My lack of knowledge for his culture an the fact I can't speak to some of his family is probably our biggest problem in our marriage. I am working on learning Spanish but some parts of his culture I will never understand based on my culture. I love how eclectic we are, but goodness is it hard!!!

This is a long post and there is SO MUCH MORE I want to write, but if you see me and we have a close trustworthy relationship... I will share with you more. :)

To our married friends... Thank you so much for growing with us in this sacred bond. We love you guys and wish the best for you!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Under Construction


It's been 'a little while' since I last blogged but things have been busy!!

Quick update: EZ and I are going to start teaching Sunday School at our new church home, EZ starts school in about two weeks, my Chondritis is finally starting to ease up on me, i got to visit with Jade before she went back to Japan, Sarai (EZ's sister) is two weeks away from having her baby, and Buster's birthday is in two weeks!! Whew.....

I know I have posted a few times about the Proverbs 31 woman and her characteristics if you will. I've been reading all kids of books, the bible, praying, seeking wisdom from others, and gaining feedback from my husband. I think God decided to throw the answer I was looking for at me this weekend. :) The more I read about this woman and all she did, I honesty started to think she did not exist. I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to accomplish all those things, and that is when (I think) God decided that He would help me out. :)

I've kept running into 'pray for your husband and work on yourself'. I don't think that's all it's cracked up to be honestly. I still pray for my husband everyday, but my focus is no longer on fixing myself. What I have learned is that God will mold/fix me in His own timing; which I've know for a long time but obviously did not focus on. He will continue to mold me until I see Him in heaven and that is super exciting!!! My focus now is to love my husband the way the LORD does and to see him in the same light.

I know that there will be days when I won't accomplish everything that needs to be done, but if I am doing what I can without ignoring my husband and without complaining then the LORD is pleased. I know that there will be days when I don't get my 'me' time, but if I give my husband time and the LORD time - I'm sure that 'me' time will come about. :)

The Proverbs 31 woman had many many tasks that she accomplished everyday and her husband was blessed by her works. Her husband trusts her completely and loves her dearly. She never nags, complains, bad mouths her husband to her friends, and most importantly she puts his needs before her own. In other words... She is her husbands back bone. Think about the reality of that for a minute. Without your back you can hardly do anything! We all trust that our backs are fine and we count on them because we need them to get through the day/life.

I never realized just how important that back bone is to a husband, and how if done to glorify God how amazing marriage becomes. God definitely gave women a challenge with the role of being the back bone. No one sees the back bone, it's constantly working, it's expected to work regardless of soarness or tiredness, and it's owner has complete trust in it. Wow....God must really think wives are worthy to handle such a role. ;)

I know that by continuing to press into the LORD and spend time in His word daily...I will continue to grow into the woman/wife and someday mother he created me to be. What a revelation.... Thank you LORD for your goodness and grace.

God bless!!

Monday, July 30, 2012

A Gently and Quiet What???

A few weeks ago I posted about my fascination with the Proverbs 31 Woman. While researching this mystery woman I came across this book. The book is called "The Proverbs 31 Woman Handbook" written by Laura Velez and it is a doozey. She basically goes through the entire proverb and breaks down each verse. She even shows you the Greek root words and applies them to the passage. I have not finished the book yet, but it has definitely shaken me up and made me look at the proverb differently. I won't go into too much detail about it so that you can get what you get out of reading it (if you choose to do so.) I will go ahead and comment on a few things that I've learned thus far though. ;)

I originally thought that the woman was doing all these things and the man was getting all the glory. The man does find pleasure in her good ways but that is not the reason she is doing them. She is also not doing them just because they are a list to be accomplished. The LORD provided man with a help mate or companion, and she has responsibilities that the LORD requires. She is not held accountable for what her husband does, what people think of him, or even what her husband thinks of her. She is accountable for doing what the LORD has set before her with an attitude of joy.

There are MANY things in the book that were hard to swallow but the more I pray and hold my tongue the better it gets. I wondered in my last post what a modern day proverbs 31 woman would look like. So far... I have gathered the following:
- she does not over schedule herself
- her husband trusts her completely
- she is a soldier for Christ
- she longs to please the LORD with her life
- she has a gentle and quiet spirit
- she is wise beyond her years
- she never goes a day without her time with the LORD
- her beauty comes from within
- she has a kind 'just do it' attitude
- she has a love for EVERYONE

This in depth study of this woman made me realize two things. First, I never understood this proverb correctly...second, I am no where near a proverbs 31 woman...and third, the more I grow in Christ the closer I become to being a proverbs 31 woman.

The part I am working on most is having a gentle and quiet spirit. hard!!! I try and think- would God approve of what is about to come out of your mouth or should you do a self check. Let's just say I'm having to self check more than I'd like!!

If you are a woman struggling with this like me - I encourage you to read this book and of course the word. :)

Blessings and love to you!!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Dinner for One??

Good evening everybody!!

I hope that your Wednesday has treated you well and that you find yourself relaxed and blessed. :) Tonight, my husband is working so I took the time to be 'creative' with dinner. My mother makes the best salmon patties in the WORLD, but since my husband and I are on a health kick...I decided to spice them up a bit.

Mom's Recipe:

Salmon (from the can) 2 cans
Saltine Crackers
Olive Oil

Pick all the bones and skin off the Salmon from the can. Add 1 egg per can and saltine crackers until the patties hold together. Then...once patties are made, place them in the olive oil, medium heat on in pan on stove, until they brown on each side. Then remove them and let the grease soak into a paper towel. Mom normally makes these with a side of pork n beans, mac n cheese, or rolls (not sure the rolls). They are soooo very good but not really good for you!

The salmon patties that I made tonight were from a mixture of recipes I found and some things I threw in. ;)

1 pkg  of salmon (already had bones and skin removed)
whole wheat bread crumbs (about 1 1/2 cups)
1/3 lime juice
a dab of hot sauce
garlic salt
1/4 cup of mayonnaise
1 egg

Mix the lime juice, hot sauce, egg (beat before adding), mayonnaise, and the bread crumbs together. Get all the juice out of the salmon that you can and then add that and the garlic salt to the mixture. Set your oven to 350 degrees and make sure you spray the pan with Pam. This mixture should make about 4 patties; cook those for 20 minutes.

To my wonderful surprise...they had sooooo much flavor!!! I paired them with steamed asparagus and a bottle of water. Eating healthy is not always easy but this is a favorite and I will make again!! Now if I could only lay off the chocolate... :)

Love to all!!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Living with Batman

Hello all!!

Today my parents came to Ft. Worth to see the new batman movie and have dinner with my husband and me. "The Dark Knight Rises" was to say the least awesome!! The graphics were amazing, the story line was full of twists and turns, it had a happy ending, annnnd left it open for possibly another movie.

If you don't know my father, he is the biggest batman fan ever!! The year before last he was batman with my little nephew for Halloween. Even today at the movie he was supporting the caped crusader with a batman t-shirt. Batman is my favorite because he is an average person, with a passion for his city, and has really cool toys!!

My dad is my batman for many reasons. He has a passion for his city, he has cool toys, he is an average man, he believes in justice, he never gives up, and although he doesn't wear a mask he wears a badge everyday. He doesn't have an aircraft (the bat), or a cave (the bat cave), or a ridiculously cool car (the bat mobile), or a signal in the sky(the bat signal). He does have a motorcycle with the batman signal on the sides and on his helmet that he wears around his town. :)

My batman is different than the "famous" batman because everyone knows my dad; he doesn't have a mask. People know where he lives, the home phone number, some have his cell phone number, and they know where he works. Bruce Wayne had a luxurious life beside his life of being the batman. My dad is batman every minute of everyday protecting the city of Graham.

I can't tell you how many times I have thought of what wonderful parents I have. They have always stood for what's right, helped me grow in my faith, and have sculpted me to be the woman I am today. I am blessed to have two parents, that have been married over 25 years, still hug and kiss each other in front of who ever, make time to come see us in the metro-mess, and tell me they are proud of me.

I could go forever and ever about this but I'll end with the following. I have spent 24 years with batman and every minute has been fulfilling and a lesson learned. My batman is the BEST man there is and no one will ever change that. I'm not sure if my mom is batgirl, but she makes a pretty mean poison Ivey. ;)

I love my batman and his poison Ivey. :)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Jelly Making 101

Today was the day I went to make Jelly with one of my favorite people Mary Kruse!!! I have been wanting to make my great grandmother's (maw maw) plum jelly for the last few months and Mary is a experienced jam and jelly maker. :)

The jelly making experience was ..... An experience. Haha It took us what felt like forever to get the amount needed for the juice and it was HOT! It's looked like we murdered someone in Mary's kitchen: that is what I related it to anyways. ;) There was some extra jelly left in one of the bowls so we had a sample. I almost melted to the ground with less than a tablespoon of a taste! It was sooooooo good! I haven't had plum jelly for the last 6 years at least.

After we made the jelly, Mary showed me how to make her famous biscuits. They were..... Beyond delicious!! My husband and I are having biscuits and jelly for a snack tonight and it will be our breakfast in the morning. :) we ended up making 8 1/2 jars of plum jelly. Mary kept one, and I'm giving one to my mother and grandmother. The rest we are rationing out until I decide to make more.

It was great making jelly, but what I enjoyed more was spending time with a sweet friend. I don't get to see Mary very often and today I spent about four hours with her! We talked about anything and everything. If you don't know Mary you should. Haha she has always been there for me every time. She is a very wise, God fearing woman, that has a heart of gold and I look up to her. I also love her a whole whole lot!!! ;)

Today was a great day!!! I now know how to make my maw maw's jelly and got to spend time with one of my lifelongs. How is it that I get to be sooo blessed??

This is the lovely Mrs. Mary!!