Many people ask 'how's your marriage going?' And most couples say 'Oh it just perfect and we love each other soooo much!' Okay...let me start by saying that I love my husband very much but it is faaaaar from perfect. When people ask me how our marriage is going I tell them the truth. We have fought, argued, not spoken to each other, had doubts, and thought we couldn't make it; all in the first year. He is in school, works full time, has guy time, and time with me. I want to go back to school, feel like I'm constantly working overtime, and have girl time and time with him. We are paying alllll kinds of bills, paying his school out of pocket, and trying to go to on a vacation in December. (Can you say stress!!!) Not to mention we STILL have not had a honeymoon. Most couples at least get the honeymoon phase of everything is perfect. I had previously lost my job and just received an offer that would start the Monday after our wedding. So...our honeymoon consisted of coming back to a new job and moving his stuff into my apartment.
There are a lot of issues I have with married couples who still mooch off their parents but I will skip that as to not offend anyone. My husband and I work very hard to provide for ourselves and our future family and still have fun. I am a BIG budgetter and I try to budget so that if a friend is in need we can help out. My parents paid for me for 21 years and are still helping in part with college. I couldn't ask them for more even though I know they would give it. Now I'm not saying that you're parents helping you out, or anyone for that matter, is wrong; when you rely on them for everything and you have not established independence for your own family...presents a problem. (Guess I mentioned one thing...lol opps!)
I wouldn't trade our 1st year of troubles for anything. If you don't 'work' things out than you just hide them and either live miserably in a marriage or get divorced. I love the couple friends that I have because we are not afraid to be real with each other. You always can love your spouse but you don't always like them necessarily. I have learned so much about my husband in our first year and most of that was through our disagreements. I often relate our relationship to that of Allie and Noah in in the movie "The Notebook." They have so much love and passion for each other and it shows...
I love that my husband an I have the time to learn more about each other before we have children. Although we both get baby fever, we are not ready for that adventure just yet. That is why we have our sweet baby Buster to take care of. :) Plus...I have GOT to learn Spanish before we have children. My lack of knowledge for his culture an the fact I can't speak to some of his family is probably our biggest problem in our marriage. I am working on learning Spanish but some parts of his culture I will never understand based on my culture. I love how eclectic we are, but goodness is it hard!!!
This is a long post and there is SO MUCH MORE I want to write, but if you see me and we have a close trustworthy relationship... I will share with you more. :)
To our married friends... Thank you so much for growing with us in this sacred bond. We love you guys and wish the best for you!!
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